If you are one of those who still think that men do not cry, that feeling fear is cowardly and that messages of love are cursory, read carefully, because it is time we understand the importance of expressing our feelings.
To express feelings is also learned. According to the psychologist and coaching expert, Mamen Garrido, there are many people who find it difficult to express what they think, but they are more difficult to express what they feel. Culture and education have an important weight in this issue. To express the feelings is learned in childhood, and that is why children who have grown up in homes where parents did not show affection, where the father never recognized being proud, where the mother kept silent when she felt lonely or depressed or where the children had to contain their rage, today they are adults with serious problems to make known what they feel. One of the reasons why we do not express what we feel is to avoid conflicts. Some believe that this way he avoids hurting another person, and he does not realize that the damage is done when he represses himself.
Another reason may be the fear of feeling rejected or believing that they will not understand you. This is solved by improving self-esteem and communicating assertively. In addition, society tells us that there are certain emotions that we must control, and thus, jealousy, anger, anger, anxiety, depression … what some call negative emotions are badly seen. Enough is enough! There are no positive or negative emotions, and we must not learn to control them but to manage them. Expressing what we like, what makes us afraid, saying things that generate joy, those we perceive with disgust, express our gratitude or show signs of apology, is what helps us to release and share our feelings, and is the best way to feel good.
Suppressing feelings can make you sick. People who constantly repress what they feel, whether by shame, by shyness or fear, end up getting sick. There are some diseases directly related to the inability to express emotions and feelings: stomach pains, ulcers, heart attacks, hypertension and irritable bowel syndrome are some examples.
But in addition to what can cause us on a physical level, living guarding our feelings can seriously deteriorate relationships with people we love. Knowing how much we love others is not enough: the important thing is that they realize it. Let them know! We are used to taking for granted that others know what we feel, or worse, we tend to want them to suppose or guess.
This is the reason why many couples fight daily. If you really love that person, tell him! Do not wait for a special occasion: look for any excuse to say what you feel. It may seem silly to you, but that will always make you aware of it, that you do not have to imagine it, and it will help keep that feeling alive.
How can feelings be expressed? They can be expressed verbally (speaking of them) or nonverbally (acting on them). Saying what you feel is the most direct way, although not always the most credible. Does it sound like that the words are blown by the wind? It is very good to say and express things like “I love you”, “I miss you”, “I am very sorry” or “I am very grateful”, but if this is not accompanied by a behavior in consequence, your words will soon have no value.
Do not say anything that you do not really feel: others will soon realize. But if you really love your partner, you can prove it to them every day. Make her feel special, have details with her, surprise her from time to time with something special, accompany her at important moments and be interested in her things.
If you feel grateful to your parents let them know, keep them in mind, visit them frequently, do not make them suffer, talk well of them and, above all, tell them how much you love them a thousand times before it is too late.
If you appreciate your friends, let it be noticed. Make time for them, share your feelings, worry about their lives, show yourself available if they need you and do not let time, routine distract them. If you have children, take care that they learn to express freely what they feel, what they fear and what they like. Listen to them and be very explicit in the expression of the affections. No matter how old they are: they need to feel that they are loved.
And if ever you do not get the words or do not know how to express yourself, remember that you can kiss, hug, caress, smile, listen, hold a hand … you can show what you feel in thousands and thousands of ways, and best of all is that you can enjoy doing it! If you learn to express what you feel and start to care about how others feel you will be improving your way of communicating with those you love. Good communication is the prelude to a healthy and prosperous relationship.
But, if it’s definitely too late for that loved one to know, you can go to www.Passaway.org, make a posthumous tribute, and teach others how to express their feelings.
– Pastor William Delgado Gil (Editor of The Word Newspaper)